1. Planning the date: Gentleman should take charge of planning the date but, if he asks for ideas, speak freely. Likewise, if he picks a venue that you don’t like, tell him.
EXAMPLE: If he plans to take you to a sushi Restaurant and you hate fish, the worst thing that you could do is tell him this once you are seated. If your date asks you what you would like to do, what your favorite restaurants are, etc., “I don’t care, what do you like,” is not an acceptable answer. Have an opinion. Wishy-washy isn’t attractive and can get old really fast.
2. Be on Time: Period.
3. Dress to impress: Men are visual creatures, therefore, first impressions are EVERYTHING. They want to see that you put time into looking good for your date. Your outfit needs to be appropriate for the date venue but should still be flirty, sexy and classy and comfortable. If you are unsure of date worthy outfits, you can hire a personal shopper or image consultant. (I’d be happy to provide references).
4. Be confident!: Dates can be nerve racking, but you don’t want to let this emotion come across. Have good posture, make eye contact, smile, and have fun!
TIPS: Make sure that you can breathe in your fantastic flirty outfit and walk in your shoes. Fussy outfits can not only make us nervous, but also take our focus away from the date! Additionally, if you get nervous on dates, there are tools to help you gain confidence. (Once again, I’d be happy to provide you with references).
5. No Cell Phones!: This goes for men too. When you are on a date, you need to be present in the conversation. Texting, emailing, and/or accepting phone calls during a date, is not only rude but can come across as you are uninterested in the person.
6. Don’t not eat: If you think not eating on a date is going to make you appear skinnier, prettier, more mysterious or feminine, guess what? It won’t. It will probably actually make your date a bit uncomfortable. Men like it when a woman is comfortable eating on a date. Not eating can imply shyness and insecurity which is not the image that you want to portray, is it?
7. Don’t drink too much: Sure, a couple cocktails can help loosen up the mood but know your limits. Not only does alcohol impair your judgment (hence the term “beer goggles” or “coyote ugly”), you don’t want to be slurring your words or have to be carried out of the restaurant by your date.
8. Good topics of conversation: Talk about your hobbies, sports, passions and pursuits, favorite travel destinations, what you both like to do to relax on weekends, etc. Make sure to ask him questions and LISTEN. A conversation goes both ways…both people should be sharing. Basically, it should flow like a tennis match.
9. Poor topics of conversation: Don’t talk about X’s…..EVER!!! This is a big NO, NO. You should be focusing on getting to know your date. Leave your intimate stories and emotional baggage at home. Once you get to know each other, it is appropriate to discuss X’s. In addition, stay away from politics and religion.
10. Flirt: If you are into your date, let him know it. Sweet, innocent flirting is always welcomed if both parties are interested in each other. Lean in when he talks, listen, touch his arm or shoulder for a brief moment (when appropriate) during the conversation to show him that you are into him.
11. When it comes to goodnight, let the guy take the lead. If you are into him and he goes in for the kiss, kiss him back. If you are not interested in him, initiate a handshake or a quick hug. Also, if you are looking for a relationship, NO sex on the first date.
12. After the first date, let him reach out to you. If you must send him a text, than abide by KISS; “Keep it Simple & Straightforward”. “Hey, I had a really great time. Thank you”. DONE. Only send ONE text. DO NOT TEXT, “OMG, I had the best time ever! You’re so amazing! You could be the one! Want to come to lunch with my BFF’s & me tomorrow? LMK ASAP! Xoxoxxoxo.” Even if you had the best date, with this type of text, you will send him running. Stay poised and cool ladies. If he is interested, he will reach out to you.
Reminder: First dates are for both parties to meet each other and decide if they would like to continue getting to know each other. If one party is not interested after the first date, that is OKAY. Do not be upset, thinking something is wrong with you, or be angry if this happens. Be thankful that the person was honest with you and themselves and isn’t stringing you along!
If you do not know your date through a previous meeting or introduction through a friend, family or matchmaker, NEVER let him pick you up for your first date. Also make sure to meet him at a public, well-lit venue.