In our throwaway society filled with immediate gratification and a thirst for more on all levels, have we forgotten how to be “present”, joyful, patient, and loving as well as remembering the value of “old school” style communication? Millennials are accused of this all of the time but are they really the only generation at risk of being disconnected from deep, meaningful relationships and feeling fulfilled in their daily lives?
Addictions to alcohol and drugs have notoriously been the downfall of relationships but social media has also become an addiction that is ruining relationships. Did we get enough “likes”? Do we have enough FB friends and followers on Instagram etc.? We check our social media at nauseum for immediate validation and when we receive it dopamine is released keeping us addicted. These small social media feats have become a feeling of acceptance to many and can keep us disconnected from personal, deep connections. Through social media and online dating, we feel “friendships” and sometimes “relationships” that aren’t real. If you haven’t met someone in person, how can you be in a romantic relationship?
Texting is a great way to get that dopamine release as well when it’s a great text but what happens when it’s not? Let’s say you texted your romantic interest, “Hi beautiful! Thinking of you! Xoxo” and used some heart emojis to add to the impact and she responds with, “Hey you!”. Your heart sinks right? Why? We get addicted to the interaction and expect a similar response to validate us and make us feel good. When people text, you don’t know what their current situation is so they may need to be “short” but, knowing this, we still feel slighted sometimes.
What’s my point? Pick up your phone and call others to TALK to them! Meet them in person and put your phone away. If you have your phone out when meeting with others it basically implies that they aren’t worth your full attention so put your phone out of sight. There is so much value to speaking with others and hearing their voice as well as reading their body language when you meet in person….enjoy it.
Now get out there and start building deep connections.